Game Review: Adventure

"Adventure" was an Atari 2600 game.  It's still out there in the world.  Just because it's old and not used a lot,  doesn't mean all the cartridges just vanished into thin air.  Well, mine did.  No idea where it is.  Here's what it looked like - 

There is a version with a colorful label - a dragon and castle on it, but I didn't have that one.  This was it.  No art.  No instructions.  Nothing.  I'm not even sure how I ended up with it.  I don't remember getting it as a gift, stealing it, or anything.  It just appeared one day.  A friend probably just abandoned it with me.  It's easy to see why.  It's boring as hell.  Boring, but addictive....and somehow calming (like cheddar cheese flavored heroin)

Gameplay:  You're a little yellow dot in front of a big yellow castle.  Start walking around.

See a key?  Grab it.  It'll stick to you.  Same with the sword.  You'll need that.  There's also a bridge thing that helps you out of mazes.  Grab that, too.  But you won't be able to take more than one thing with you.  Unless you get the magnet...wait a minute.  I'm not telling you what took me hours upon hours of playing this thing to find out.  It's called "Adventure".  You're on an adventure.  Figure it out.

Graphics:  Yep.  What you see is what you get.  Grey floors.  Simple, solid colored mazes, hallways, rooms, and castles.  Oh, and the thing that's chasing you?  This is what it looks like -

It's a duck dragon.  Run.

Sound:  The only sound you here is a "blip" when you pick an item up.  And when you win, by bringing a yellow chalice into the yellow castle....the audio shows off it's full sonic capabilities.  Some sort of space humming noise occurs. No music.  No dialogue.  No nothing.  Just the sound of you breathing in your own head.  And your annoying sibling blasting a Madonna remix and singing off key at the top of his lungs.  A perfect soundtrack for this quest.

Story:  You're a dot.  A lonely dot.  In mazey castle land.  You are assigned no race, age, religion, orgin, history, name, or anything.  I don't even think you're given clothes.  The back story isn't important here.  It's all about what lies ahead - one of those mean, quick duck dragons, waiting in a room  to eat you!

Learning Curve:  If chimpanzees could be taught to master a game and then teach humans how to play it BETTER than how they were originally taught it, this is the game.  It can be frustrating with no instructions.  As a kid, I'd pick stuff up, carry it and move it all over the place aimlessly.  Just passing time, but satisfied.  Like a wandering child, lost in the Middle Ages, but happy.  At least I didn't have the plague.  I hope.  (cough,cough)

Control Scheme:  Since I lost this cartridge and have no idea where my old Atari 2600 console is, I played this on one of those new Atari joystick things that you plug into your t.v.  It has 8 games built in.  Magically.  

The joystick is easy to control and brought back a lot of memories.  You used to be able to take the plastic casing off the stick part, lick the end, and stick it "unicorn style" on your forehead.  Then your mom would wonder why you have a giant circular hickey there.  They fixed that problem with this contraption.  It's sturdy and straightforward.  Move your dot where you wanna go.  Press the only button to release the item you're holding.  

It might seem like I just chose an old, antiquated game so I wouldn't have to do a lot of special examination of all the different facets of gameplay and design.  Well, not exactly.  I could have done the Atari game, "Circus".  That game sucked in 1984, and it still sucks.